Lundie's Life

“For the next 60 days, try to stay in a continuous, honest conversation with God, willing to do his will moment by moment.”

– SoulRevolution.net

This is the beginning of a challenge put forth by John Burke in his soon to be released book, Soul Revolution: How Imperfect People Become All God Intended.

John Burke spoke at the Leadership Summit and lodged some serious nuggets in my brain.

I missed out on being able to buy an advanced copy of his book.    Sadly, I was unaware that it had not yet hit stores, so I just figured I’d pick one up from Amazon.  It will not be shipped until October 1.

But God is moving in my mind and in my heart.  I am going to start the challenge by myself, right now.  Life’s too short, and this is too important, to put off until later.

Anyone want to join me?

I found this book in my boss’s office a couple of years ago and asked if I could read it. It isn’t very long, and can be difficult to read (Brother Lawrence was a seventeenth-century French Monk), but it is well worth it.

I lost track of the borrowed (and returned) book, but finally re-found and purchased it for myself. I am reading it once again and would like to share a passage with you that I feel I should read on a daily basis…

Being questioned by one of his own society (to whom he was obliged to open himself) by what means he had attained such an habitual sense of God, he told him that, since his first coming to the monastery, he had considered God as the end of all his thoughts and desires, as the mark to which they should tend, and in which they should terminate.

That in the beginning of his novitiate he spent the hours appointed for private prayer in thinking of God, so as to convince his mind of, and to impress deeply upon his heart, the divine existence, rather by devout sentiments, and submission to the lights of faith, than by studied reasonings and elaborate meditations. That by this short and sure method he exercised himself in the knowledge and love of God, resolving to use his utmost endeavor to live in a continual sense of His presence, and if possible never to forget Him more.

That when he had thus in prayer filled his mind with great sentiments of that infinite Being, he went to his work appointed in the kitchen (for he was cook to the society). There having first considered severally the things his office required, and when how each thing was to be done, he spent all the intervals of his time, as well before as after his work, in prayer.

That when he began his business, he said to God, with a filial trust in Him: ‘O my God, since Thou art with me, and I must now, in obedience to Thy commands, apply my mind to these outward things, I beseech Thee to grant me the grace to continue in Thy presence; and to this end do Thou prosper me with Thy assistance, receive all my works, and possess all my affections.’

As he proceeded in his work he continued his familiar conversation with his Maker, imploring His grace, and offering to Him all his actions.

When he had finished he examined himself how he had discharged his duty; if he found well, he returned thanks to God; if otherwise, he asked pardon, and without being discouraged, he set his mind right again, and continued his exercise of the presence of God as if he had never deviated from it. ‘Thus,’ said he, ‘by rising after my falls, and by frequently renewed acts of faith and love, I am come to a state wherein it would be as difficult for me not to think of God as it was at first to accustom myself to it.”

As Brother Lawrence had found such an advantage in walking in the presence of God, it was natural for him to recommend it earnestly to others; but his example was a stronger inducement than any arguments he could propose. His very countenance was edifying, such a sweet and calm devotion appearing in it as could not but affect the beholders. And it was observed that in the greatest hurry of business in the kitchen he still preserved his recollection and heavenly-mindedness. He was never hasty nor loitering, but did each thing in its season, with an even, uninterrupted composure and tranquility of spirit. ‘The time of business,’ said he, ‘does not with me differ from the time of prayer; and in the noise and clatter of my kitchen, while several persons are at the same time calling for different things, I possess God in as great tranquility as if I were upon my knees at the blessed sacrament.”

The Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence, pp. 28-30

What does it mean when I’m not seeing any effects from my efforts? Does it mean that God isn’t answering prayers? Does it mean I am not working hard enough?

Or, more likely, does it mean that I am being given the opportunity to learn patience and perseverance?

I was so angry last night about my weight staying the same that I reverted to some old behavior and ate junk in the evening. Now I realize that I wasn’t behaving rationally. Spoiled rotten was more the mode. Today, I have repented (as I often do the next morning) and intend for today to be a day of fasting until I truly, unquestionably, hunger.

Katrina wrote a post this morning over at Faith Lifts about hungering and thirsting and it made me realize that we are called to not eat until we truly HUNGER. Not we feel like we might be hungry, or food sounds good, but when we are driven by our physical state to consume food. My eating has not been like that for a very long time.

One thing I am truly happy about though is that I’m on track with my physical exercise. I am still Walking the Walk with Leslie and it feels good. That’s one challenge I’m managing to participate in fully!

Well, enough for this morning. I have much to do. Have a blessed day!

Ok, not even sure if that is a word, (too lazy to look it up), but I realized tonight that I need to “accentuate the positive” rather than focusing all my time and energy attempting to “eliminate the negative”.

Meaning – I am going to spend my time in the Word, listening to my heavenly Father, and am going to add things to my life like exercise and water and play time with J5 (and play time with J4!). Part of the insight that I believe God gave me while viewing the video with my mother the other day is that we become what we focus on. When I am doing diet plans, even ones as wonderful as Thin Within, I am still paying a great deal of attention to my “relationship with food”. Food is still on my mind a great deal, even if I am working hard to think positive thoughts. What I would like to be is free.

Free of thinking about food at all. I know I need to eat it, but I don’t think I am EVER going to be truly free until it doesn’t occupy precious mind space anymore.

I have still been very overwhelmed lately. It is getting better. I am spending time in the morning with my Bible, a Beth Moore book, and my calendar, prioritizing my day. Being a PT WAHM, (closer to SAHM than I used to be) I am finding that I need a lot more internal motivation than I realized. It is SO easy to become a couch potato. Not that there aren’t things to do, but without deadlines and requirements and external pressures, it can be a struggle. Add to that a touch of depression and you’re in for a sludgy lifestyle.

I purchased a DVD online last week. Leslie Sansone’s Walk The Walk: Miles 1 and 2. It lets you do a walking exercise routine in your living room. The one mile routine takes about 17 minutes. I’ve done it once. It was a workout! I can’t believe just how out of shape I’ve become – even with all day toy-pickup-patrol!

Anyway, I’ve decided that I am going to try an alternative approach. I’ve been “doing” Thin Within or some similar variation of it for so long – and my methods aren’t working. I am NOT saying that Thin Within doesn’t work. I am sure that it does, but right now I am not working Thin Within. So. On to another strategy. I am going to refocus – onto Christ. Onto doing things that benefit my Temple.

For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19

I have needed something to light the fire of my faith. A kick start. And God has done so in a way I was not expecting. Using a potentially controversial book called The Secret. The book itself isn’t what changed me. In fact, I haven’t even read it yet. I did watch about half of the video, but not enough to utilize it in the way it was intended.

I realized that all of my striving has been toward controlling my surroundings and my actions. And that striving left me exhausted, demoralized and depressed. What I hadn’t put my energy into was changing my thoughts.

My thought life is the one thing I do have the power to change. What “The Secret” proposed was that by thinking positive, positive things will, by the “Law of Attraction”, have to come to you. But I’m not writing to talk about all the things this book suggested, just to try to verbalize what I’ve been mulling over.

In an attempt to be “real” I have spent most of my life trying to listen to myself. To understand myself. To be guided by my “inner truth”. The problem with doing that is that I don’t have the answers. Well, I do have some. I know what I feel. I know what I lack. I know my pain and my need.

It’s time for me to get out of my head, and start expressing my gratitude and trust in my Abba Father. He’s the one with the answers. He’s the one with the plan, the grace, the blessings, the goodness. He IS it all.

The book talks about sending the right messages out to the universe. Why limit myself? I’m going to aim even higher! I want to have a living, breathing, daily relationship with the CREATOR of the universe.

So, yes, I will be doing a lot more positive thinking – in the form of praising God for what he has done, what he is already doing, and what he has planned to do for me, in me, with me.

My eyes have been on me. It’s time to get them up and focused on the amazing-ness that is God. He WILL change me. He WILL set me free. He WILL pull me out of the pit, and set my feet on solid ground. He has promised it, he already has the works in process, I just need to agree to go along for the ride! I need to cooperate with Him. I need to trust that the promises he made are already on their way! And they are. I am so very excited to see what’s in store!!!