Archive for the ‘General Stuff’ Category
Getting a new start
Saturday, August 2nd, 2008
New months make for nice re-boots of the brain and life:
- I’m getting a new blog design, a la Laura at Radical Mama.
- I’m rejoining the Home Sanctuary Company Girls
- I’m reading my brand new copy of “Get Thin, Stay Thin” (previously Thin Again)
- I’m seriously contemplating merging my SCOH blog with this one to become a more unified me everywhere I am.
My blog’s pre-final resting place
Friday, June 15th, 2007
I have a site waiting for me – LundiesLife.com, but we’re not quite there yet. In order to get one step closer, I have created this blog. I am getting myself prepped for the new design and will hopefully stop being so bipolar in my posting. This blog now contains the last two blogs I’ve been maintaining (Random Wanderings and My Journey Out of the Pit) – combined into one. If I haven’t completely lost any of you who hang out here – that is really cool!
Hugs,
Lundie
Deprioritization of food
Friday, June 15th, 2007
Ok, not even sure if that is a word, (too lazy to look it up), but I realized tonight that I need to “accentuate the positive” rather than focusing all my time and energy attempting to “eliminate the negative”.
Meaning – I am going to spend my time in the Word, listening to my heavenly Father, and am going to add things to my life like exercise and water and play time with J5 (and play time with J4!). Part of the insight that I believe God gave me while viewing the video with my mother the other day is that we become what we focus on. When I am doing diet plans, even ones as wonderful as Thin Within, I am still paying a great deal of attention to my “relationship with food”. Food is still on my mind a great deal, even if I am working hard to think positive thoughts. What I would like to be is free.
Free of thinking about food at all. I know I need to eat it, but I don’t think I am EVER going to be truly free until it doesn’t occupy precious mind space anymore.
I have still been very overwhelmed lately. It is getting better. I am spending time in the morning with my Bible, a Beth Moore book, and my calendar, prioritizing my day. Being a PT WAHM, (closer to SAHM than I used to be) I am finding that I need a lot more internal motivation than I realized. It is SO easy to become a couch potato. Not that there aren’t things to do, but without deadlines and requirements and external pressures, it can be a struggle. Add to that a touch of depression and you’re in for a sludgy lifestyle.
I purchased a DVD online last week. Leslie Sansone’s Walk The Walk: Miles 1 and 2. It lets you do a walking exercise routine in your living room. The one mile routine takes about 17 minutes. I’ve done it once. It was a workout! I can’t believe just how out of shape I’ve become – even with all day toy-pickup-patrol!
Anyway, I’ve decided that I am going to try an alternative approach. I’ve been “doing” Thin Within or some similar variation of it for so long – and my methods aren’t working. I am NOT saying that Thin Within doesn’t work. I am sure that it does, but right now I am not working Thin Within. So. On to another strategy. I am going to refocus – onto Christ. Onto doing things that benefit my Temple.
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19
Struggling with Sin
Thursday, May 10th, 2007
Yeah, this is where I am…
14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
May Day Challenge
Tuesday, May 8th, 2007
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How much weight I want to lose: 65 in total. I don’t have a set goal for the timeframe of this contest. I will lose what God allows me to lose.
My weight history: Yo-yo my whole life. Fen Phen’ed my way down to 135 for my wedding. Up to 210 in 1998. Weigh Down’ed my way down to the 160s in ‘99. Back to the 190s after that. Managed to lose weight through a pregnancy in 2005 (thanks to Gestational Diabetes), but proceeded to put on MORE weight AFTER the pregnancy.
My diet: Basic hunger/fullness based on Thin Within. I am part of a couple of Yahoo online groups, and participate in a weekly chat to discuss life the TW way.
Weaknesses? Eating. I use it to get through difficult times. Unfortunately, in my world difficult includes boredom and procrastination. But I will keep going. Perseverance is a gift, and I’m gonna use it!
ETA: My beginning weight: 195.
Thin Within?
Wednesday, March 14th, 2007
I am thinking about getting re-involved in Thin Within. I got an email from their director a few days ago. They’re redoing their website. Will definitely wait until that happens. I tried to start a group a few years back, but the two women that came never came back.
I believe in the truth that I’ve learned in The Lord’s Table. I just think I need to have people to talk to. Face to face. To support each other. Regular discussion.
Or maybe I’m supposed to do this on my own. Just me and God. I don’t know. Need to mull that one over.
The struggle continues
Friday, March 9th, 2007
Second night in a row that I was faced with that same driving force. That overwhelming need to finish those 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 bites of food after I knew I was done. I can see this will be battlefield #1. Knowing where the temptation will strike is good knowledge. I guess I need to have a plan-ahead thought. I know that praying before my meal is something I struggle with. I just plain forget. I have my “Divine Hours” book that has prayers for those timeframes (meals) and I really want to get into that habit.
I have finally gotten into the habit for the ones upon waking and for retiring. I just need the mid-day ones to come to mind a little more regularly. I guess that’s the challenge in this, isn’t it? Retraining myself to stay connected with God ALL DAY LONG. Not just here and there when I need something. Hm. Will have to take some steps to get those habits built.
Not a clue what I’m doing
Thursday, March 8th, 2007
I started this third blog. I wanted to have a place to talk about my unhealthy relationship with food. A place that wouldn’t clutter up my other writing. Right now I’m at a blank as to what would be good for me here. Mostly, I’m just sad. I did really well with my eating today, right up until dinner.
As I was eating my soup and cornbread, I got to the point where I knew I should quit. But it tasted so good. I had the same battle that I have had for years and years. The point comes where I am to stop eating. The lure of the food is stronger than my desire to do the “right thing”.
It took me three or four huge greedy eat-them-quick-before-I-obey bites to stop. Who am I kidding? As if I eat faster I won’t feel guilty and God will let them slide as “within the obedience window”. Ridiculous.
One thing I have now is hope. Hope in God. Hope that my lifetime history with the pit won’t mean that I’m a permanent resident. Hope from the book I read.
The problem is, life on Planet Earth consists of one crisis after another. Beloved, this I promise you. Circumstances will offer unceasing invitations back to the pit. If our souls had no enemy, life on clay feet would still be hard. But the fact is we do have an emey, and he formulates one scheme after another. He knows how to trip your switch. He finds your Achilles’ heel, and that’s where he aims his darts. And if he’s anything at all, he’s a great shot.
You can insulate yourself from the temptation for only so long. At some point you have to get out there, plant your own two feet upon that rock, and resist. Once, then twice. Ten times, then twenty-five. Thirty times, then fifty till your flesh submits and your enemy gives up on that front and quits. Sooner or later, relying on the power of Christ acting through you, you’re going to have to face your foe and win. You can’t just run from him and hid, because he’ll keep showing up wherever you go.
Get Out Of That Pit! Page 164
As I was typing out that quote, I realized I want to re-read this book and use the study guide in the back. That will probably direct a lot of my posts for a while. Mostly, I’m writing to myself and to God, but if you’re here with the need to have a friend for the same journey – then welcome! And God bless you.