Archive for July, 2007

I don’t like to whine. I don’t want to complain. But this is where I need to be the real me, so here I go.

I am depressed. I am unhappy. I have no reason for either. I am afraid. Many little things cause me emotional distress. Things that do not signify danger, but get blown out of proportion in my mind.

I did not get enough sleep last night. I stayed up trying to write my devotional for Faith Lifts. Then, I just couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts racing. Never enough accomplished in my day. Feelings like I’m just insufficient. I am never enough.

And it has carried over into today. Feelings like I can never catch up. I will always be behind. Lacking. A day late and a dollar short.

I don’t WANT to feel this way. I’ve read that some of this can be attributed to pride – which I do not doubt as I know that’s one of my regular sins. I just don’t know how to get out. Sometimes I just have better days than others.

I know that God can heal whatever bad things are going on in my head and in my soul. I just wish I knew how to make it happen RIGHT NOW.

And even we Christians, although we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, also groan to be released from pain and suffering. we, too, wait anxiously for that day when God will give us our full rights as his children, including the new bodies he has promised us. Now that we are saved, we eagerly look forward to this freedom. For if you already have something, you don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently.

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don’t even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. but the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:23-28

Father, I’m going to have the let the Holy Spirit do the praying for me here. I know you’re the answer. Your word has everything I need to heal this soul-pain and distress I am feeling. I do not want to resort to medication if I don’t have to. Please give me the spiritual solution, rather than the pharmaceutical one. I know you have the power to heal everything – including my anxiety and depression. Let me be filled with your Comforting Spirit – and know that that is enough. Help me to deny the lies that my head seems to be believing – that is causing my fear. I believe in You. Help me.