Archive for June, 2007

Happy 37th Anniversary, Mom & Dad!

4 years ago

by Lundie in Reflection

You guys rock!

Family Marriage

Self-reliance, pride and other things

4 years ago

by Lundie in Reflection

Well, I got another flash of revelation from my Heavenly Father this evening. I asked in my last post what all this loitering in my weight meant. God’s letting me see how successful I am when I go it alone. You see, I’m a very, very stubborn girl. I don’t want to be helped. I want to prove myself. I want to be worthy. I don’t want to *owe* anyone. Ever. I hate being indebted. With a passion.

But I need to love Him more. More than my pride. More than my self-sufficiency. I need to trust him with the same intensity that I defend myself. And I need to get over myself. I DO owe God. I AM indebted to Him. I just need him to impress upon me what I really have. He’s not the source of my guilt and my heavy heart. That would be compliments of the accuser.

What I do get is forgiveness and love, even when I boldly and willfully charge off in the direction that I want to go, instead of in the direction He’s trying to gently lead me.

O God, you know how foolish I am;
my sins cannot be hidden from you.
Ps. 69:5

So, I once again reach up, Father, and ask you to lift me up out of this mud. Show me how to let go of “my way”, and see yours clearly. I don’t want to wander off anymore. Amen.

Falling Getting Back Up Grace

Ok, so now what?

4 years ago

by Lundie in Reflection

What does it mean when I’m not seeing any effects from my efforts? Does it mean that God isn’t answering prayers? Does it mean I am not working hard enough?

Or, more likely, does it mean that I am being given the opportunity to learn patience and perseverance?

I was so angry last night about my weight staying the same that I reverted to some old behavior and ate junk in the evening. Now I realize that I wasn’t behaving rationally. Spoiled rotten was more the mode. Today, I have repented (as I often do the next morning) and intend for today to be a day of fasting until I truly, unquestionably, hunger.

Katrina wrote a post this morning over at Faith Lifts about hungering and thirsting and it made me realize that we are called to not eat until we truly HUNGER. Not we feel like we might be hungry, or food sounds good, but when we are driven by our physical state to consume food. My eating has not been like that for a very long time.

One thing I am truly happy about though is that I’m on track with my physical exercise. I am still Walking the Walk with Leslie and it feels good. That’s one challenge I’m managing to participate in fully!

Well, enough for this morning. I have much to do. Have a blessed day!