I was journaling this evening. Furiously. It has been a rough couple of days. Some people in my life have been fighting. I am a peacemaker by nature, but I have done everything in my power to stay out of the fight this time.
It has really hit me hard. I spent the entire day today angry. Part of it is because I am isolated here at home from other adult conversation. The other part is because I felt attacked. I was being included in the fight whether I liked it or not.
So I pouted, and ate, and paced, and all sorts of not-so-healthy things that I seem to do when I’m upset.
So I journaled. That was the first healthy step I took.
Ok, to my point. I realized that as angry as I was, and as victimized as I felt, I was allowing it to happen. I was allowing the “yuck” that these people were flinging, into my home, into my mind and into my heart. That is WRONG.
I was allowing it to happen. I was sitting back, choking down my anger and frustration, and basically abusing myself (the food, the tension, etc.)
No more. I have the power of choice. I have the power to choose peace. I have the power to choose to let God handle their lives, and keep His calm and love and peace in my life.
I so choose.
amen, sister. i know how you feel. i too, let people make me feel bad. i hope you were able to rise above it.