Archive for March, 2006

BabySteps

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

Getting back up when things have slipped can be so hard. FlyLady is such an inspiration. Her most loving words, included in every message from her are,

“You are not behind! I don’t want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.?”

Do you know how wonderful that concept is? If there’s anyone out there who gets overwhelmed, who has suffered from depression, who is a procrastinator…this message can be for you too.

Just jump in. There’s no score card. There’s no grade at the end of the semester that you have to kill yourself to recover. Just jump in. Today. Right now. Right here.

And for those of us who have some “Body Clutter” to lose, the same goes. Waiting until tomorrow to start something good for yourself will never get it accomplished. Whether it’s going to bed right now ’cause it’s late and you need sleep, or whether it’s taking a walk around the block to give your lungs and heart a little bit of exercise, there is no time like the present!!

Just do it! Jump!

I did it!!!

Sunday, March 26th, 2006

Our taxes are done! Boo-yah Baby!

Nothing to say

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

Yes, I have nothing to say, and yet here I am. This is more a post to see if the “priming the pump” philosophy works… Maybe if I post once it will give me something to post about again later…

Ooh! I know! There’s this cool product we’re testing for work and it’s really kind of fun! It’s called MindManager Pro. Of course, it’s a geeky sort of fun, but, well, you know…

Later.

The power of choice

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006

I was journaling this evening. Furiously. It has been a rough couple of days. Some people in my life have been fighting. I am a peacemaker by nature, but I have done everything in my power to stay out of the fight this time.

It has really hit me hard. I spent the entire day today angry. Part of it is because I am isolated here at home from other adult conversation. The other part is because I felt attacked. I was being included in the fight whether I liked it or not.

So I pouted, and ate, and paced, and all sorts of not-so-healthy things that I seem to do when I’m upset.

So I journaled. That was the first healthy step I took.

Ok, to my point. I realized that as angry as I was, and as victimized as I felt, I was allowing it to happen. I was allowing the “yuck” that these people were flinging, into my home, into my mind and into my heart. That is WRONG.

I was allowing it to happen. I was sitting back, choking down my anger and frustration, and basically abusing myself (the food, the tension, etc.)

No more. I have the power of choice. I have the power to choose peace. I have the power to choose to let God handle their lives, and keep His calm and love and peace in my life.

I so choose.

What else can I not do today?

Tuesday, March 14th, 2006

Ok, I have become the queen of procrastination. I am a reasonably intelligent woman. I have my Bachelors Degree in Accounting. I am capable of doing our taxes.

But I don’t want to.

But neither do I want us to pay over $200 to someone else to do it. It’s not like we’ve lived this overly complicated financial life. Our biggest change is J5.

For two weeks straight I’ve told myself I would just sit down an DO them. Just read through the booklet and put the numbers where they need to be.

And here I sit, blogging about it while the forms sit spread across my desk in front of me. Blog, blog, blog. I am going to put J5 down for his nap, set my timer in true Fly fashion, and work on them for 15 minutes. I can do this.

I really can.

Really.

**sigh**

Thursday, March 9th, 2006

Today just plain sucked. Rainy. Gray. Baby has a cold. A family member got some scary health news. I’m getting sick.

I really wanted to just go out into the back yard and sit in the rain and sulk. It was one of those days where I just want to be quiet and hold still and maybe all the feelings will just slide on by. That this day with all its negativity will fade and a new sunny day will come and all the bad things will be gone.

Poo.

Faith…

Wednesday, March 8th, 2006

Why is it that I feel my faith strongest when things are bad, rather than when things are good? Is it because I “need” more when life gets hard? Is it because I need a crutch to lean on?

This morning I had a long conversation with one of my closest friends, who also happens to be my mother. After discussing just how similar we are, and how we are able to point each other in better directions because we have actually walked the same paths, we both came to the conclusion that we really need to spend more time with God. In his Word, reflecting, choosing to let the Bible be an influence in our lives.

I read something this morning that said that most Christians admit that they spend something like 10 times more time watching TV, reading books, etc than they do reading their Bible or in prayer/conversation with God. I know that we can’t spend all day just reading the Bible, but it made me realize just how little time I actually dedicate to my relationship with God.

I certainly couldn’t keep a marriage afloat if I spent so little time interacting with my spouse.

I’ve always considered God to be my friend. I grew up with the constant presence of Him in my head. Even when I was angry with God, I still talked to him about it. I did go through a phase where I questioned God’s existance, but I still talked to him about my doubts, so was that really doubt?

I don’t claim to know where God wants me. I’m certainly not going to find out if I don’t bother to even talk to him. Prayers thrown his direction are good, at least there’s a little contact, but I think what He wants most is for me to both talk AND listen. There’s no communication going on if there’s no listening. And in my world, the Bible is the quickest and most ready way to “listen”.

Guess I know what I’m going to be working into my morning routine. I’ve got housekeeping stuff in my AM routine, I’ve got stuff to get me physically healthy, and (saving the best for last?) I am going to add that which will heal my spirit.

Blessings.

Spreadsheets, and charts and graphs…oh my!

Thursday, March 2nd, 2006

Ok, for those of you who know me well, you know I have a special place in my heart for Microsoft Excel. I love to make charts and graphs!

Well, using FlyLady’s Body Clutter Investigator I created a way to score how well I’m doing during the day. I have learned that when I get a “grade” above 80, my weight goes down. When it’s lower than that, I maintain or gain.

Since one of the things that frustrates me most when I try to improve my physical condition is not knowing for sure what to do. I get overwhelmed with all the things I could do, and end up doing nothing. Or, even worse, I try to do everything.

The stuff on the list is simple. Eat 3 meals, eat 2 snacks, drink enough water, get enough sleep, exercise in some fashion, take vitamins, don’t eat after dinner. That plus my GDM diet is making all the difference in the world!

I think I am posting this mostly for the reminder so when I get overwhelmed and stop paying attention to myself, I’ll have a place to go. Also see Doing What Works…

Have a great night, all!